There & Back Again

In the dwindling light of an evening only a few short years ago, though a lifetime has been traversed since then, a young man broke the silence of the countryside with his prayers. That young man was me. However, when I reflect on who that man was and who he now is, I find that I can hardly recognize him - it is as though he is being seen, remembered, and considered through a glass, but dimly. The mirrors of memory and time have contorted his image; he is seen, he is remembered, though not clearly. His voice is familiar, many of his interests have remained or even deepened, perhaps he is going grey in a spot or two now, but otherwise, from the outside, he remains the same - though something surely has changed. Indeed, looking back on the man I was only half a decade ago is like looking "in a mirror dimly" (1 Corinthians 13:12). I suppose such an introspective self-reflection is not only the blessing of hindsight, but the unique blessing of being intimately and infinitely intertwined with a God who works out all things for good.

In the dying light of that evening long ago - across an ocean of time and circumstances, it seems - I caught a glimpse of something that I will never forget. Though, what I saw was less a thing in and of itself as it was the thing beyond the thing that I saw, and only then for a fleeting moment. Here I will divulge into poetics and my more romantic sensibilities, though you may see them as only rubbish, to explain something that is nigh beyond words entirely. What I saw was a sunset: the cool, grey spires of pines being clothed with golden light, and as the horizon leveled, a rich amber, like fire, erupting from beyond the hills. That was what I saw, but now I shall endeavor to explain what I tasted, what I observed beyond these things.

Indeed, it was as though I was an onlooker on events that were not to be seen by mortal eyes. As if, only for a moment, the curtain was pulled back ever so slightly on every longing and ache of the human soul. There are moments, perhaps even mere slivers of a moment, in which one catches the tune of something far off and distant; the dancing of golden sunlight upon autumn leaves, or the crescendo of beauty that lies in the clouds at sunset, so rich a sight that you feel you could almost walk beyond the nearest hill and around the next bend right into those halls of glory beyond the clouds themselves. As though you were chasing an otherworldly song through an endless corridor, unsatisfied until you reach the source of the music. In these moments there arises a longing; a near maddeningly romantic arousal within one’s soul; a faint whisper and soft suggestion that this world is not our home after all, for how can it be? C.S. Lewis, the architect of Narnia’s world, often described a similar sensation, a whisper from beyond the rim of this life. Or, as Lewis often called it, a sight of something from beyond the wood of this world - "the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.”

And then it was over. Just as mightily and suddenly as the curtain opened, so did it close again. Nonetheless, something restless stirred in my soul that evening, a deep and profound sense of longing awoke that is yet to be put to rest. Indeed, I have been trying to open that curtain again and again ever since that night.

In response to being struck by things beyond words, I did the only reasonable thing that anyone would have done: I tried putting these things to words. I began writing vigorously, more than I ever had in my life, as though there was a mighty torrent within me that was aching to get out. At first, I composed letters and smaller, more reflective posts on social media, only for these endeavors to grow into what became my first blog - Iotas in Eternity (the 1st). Unfortunately, just as death and taxes are inevitable, so too is man's inclination towards idleness and inconsistency - or in my case, not posting for nearly three years. However, I assure you, I have not been entirely idle, not in the slightest, but those are stories that will be reserved for other posts, you have my word on that. This is a terribly long way of stating something rather simple: this is a new blog, but the chief aims of my original site remains the same.

With respect to my older posts from the first blog, I fully intend to graft my previous work into this new site over the course of the next few months. It has been on my heart for a good long while to update my site - and my faithful readers - with my various comings and goings during these 'silent years' while at the same time updating my old posts, for these works are quite dear to my heart. As aforementioned, much has happened in the 'intertestamental period' between my two blogs. Indeed, as the inviolable Norm Macdonald once remarked, "I have traveled from here to there, to here again". It is my desire to both catch you up to speed while continuing to pull back the curtain in each of your daily lives with new words as God gives me grace to do so, whether this be in the form of reflective posts, theological poetry, or essays on everything literary, historical, and philosophical.

In this way, 'There & Back Again' seems a fitting title for my first post as I venture into a new season of not only writing, but life and discipleship under the shadow of God's hand towards that place beyond the golden pines and rolling clouds. 'There', because this site is very much the same as my old blog, the original Iotas in Eternity, albeit under slightly better dress and construction. Consider, for example, that on my old site one couldn't even subscribe, and in order to find any given post a poor soul would have to navigate the murky depths of countless ramblings in order to find the piece they desired. Though, I am deeply humbled by the sheer fact that anyone, any of you, found some truth and warmth in these old works of mine - for after the Lord, it is to each of you that I write. All that to say, now that I am no longer the Luddite I once was, please do take advantage of the ability to subscribe, I assure you it will be worth your while. '& Back Again' because, well, here we are - back again to where we started. This new site, though it is better furnished, is to serve the very same purpose as the one I set out to achieve with Iotas in Eternity the first time around - to glorify Jesus Christ, the One who beckons beyond the curtain, and to make Him known by pulling back the curtain in your daily lives, one word at a time.

"To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."

-1 Timothy 1:17

Soli Deo Gloria