I Still Do & I Always Will
July 16th marks two wonderful years of marriage for Elaina and I. Oh, how the time flies! Though I am by no means a fan of country music, a line from Luke Bryan’s song “Most People Are Good” has always stuck with me: “I believe that days go slow and years go fast.” Indeed, the days do ebb slowly at times - all 731 of them - but these two years have nonetheless been the quickest years yet, and the most beautiful.
My wife and I often remark to one another that it feels like we’ve always been husband and wife. Almost as though we’ve always been married. Sure, the past two years have flown by alarmingly fast, but on the other hand, Elaina and I can hardly remember what life was like before we got married. By God’s grace, we slipped into married life very naturally - almost as if it was meant to be (which it surely was).
In the days and weeks leading up to our anniversary, I began to dwell on how richly the Lord has blessed Elaina and I. Several nights ago, I was unable to sleep and as I was lying in bed my thoughts kept smoothing over one particular point: I have everything, infinitely more, that a man could possibly ask for. There is none so blessed as I - indeed, “He who has God and everything else has no more than he who has God only.” In Christ I have all things and Him who is all things - and, I just so happen to be married to the most beautiful of His daughters.
Lying in bed that night I was struck by the tremendous contrast between us - my wife and I - and the vast majority of people in this country, whether they be young or old. We in and of ourselves are nothing special; her and I enjoy a simple life, we aren’t rich or famous, and yet, our hearts are full, wonderfully full. Can most people in this country truly say that? That they are, circumstances aside, truly happy and content? And that is, quite simply, the thought my mind keeps returning to: this is it, this is life abundant. My soul has no greater delight than to rest in the Lord, to be happy in Him, and to “rejoice in the wife of [my] youth” (Proverbs 5:18).
What greater adventure can the human soul hope for than to know its Maker and journey alongside another soul, one with whom it is one, towards Him, our great hope? One of the great joys of Christian marriage rests not only in the bliss of our earthly relationship, but in the sure hope of an even deeper friendship that will echo throughout the halls of eternity.
You need only open Instagram or Facebook for a fleeting moment to come to the conclusion that most people are sad, disillusioned, and without hope. No matter what face they wear, or what words happen to come out of their mouths, this is the sad reality of many, many lives. The entire apparatus of social media is fueled by a longing for something that always seems just out of reach; folks moving from content to content, all the while remaining utterly discontent.
Ultimately, people are restless because they refuse to rest their souls in the Lord. As Augustine remarked, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” However, what makes social media so corrosive is that it subtly influences the way we as believers think and act as well. When we see posts and videos of people skyrocketing to fame, or ‘making it big’ financially, we ourselves are suddenly tempted to feel discontent in our own little lives, as though we are in some way or another missing out on ‘what’s going on out there’.
Only, therein lies the rub: it's all an illusion. Even if the folks on the other side of our screen are indeed ‘genuinely happy’, whatever that actually means, their happiness is ultimately short-lived and shallow without the joy of the Lord.
And so, today, it is my desire to give honor where honor is due. To glorify Him who is the Giver of all good gifts, and to honor my wife, Elaina, who is the greatest gift given to me aside from relationship with Himself. My intent is to remind you, Elaina, that I love you, and that I love our little life. I praise our Lord for making you, for saving you for Himself, for giving us to one another in this life; and I praise you for your multitude of beauties, and I praise you for each and every way that you point me back to Him.
In his book Reflections on the Psalms, C.S. Lewis plumbs the depths of this thing we call ‘praise’. In his own words, Lewis remarks that,
“The most obvious fact about praise - whether of God or anything - strangely escaped me. I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honour. I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise… the world rings with praise - lovers praising their mistresses, readers their favourite poet, walkers praising the countryside, players praising their favourite game… I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation.”
When the rest of the world is preoccupied with ‘big things’, like the near-assassination of former President Trump and the gathering forces of darkness all around us, it can seem like our quiet little lives matter only a jot in the grand scheme of things. This little post, my little marriage, it all means little in the eyes of the world - but before the Lord, the God of the “great and small”, it means much (Revelation 20:12). I know that my marriage means a great deal to the Lord, and that He is, imperfections aside, using mine and Elaina’s marriage to further His kingdom; that is no small weight to bear.
With each passing year, I am more and more convinced of the reality that God concerns Himself chiefly with ‘little people’, with His people - everyday folk like you and I. Not only does God concern Himself with little, everyday people, but with little, everyday situations. I would encourage you, dear friend, to likewise concern yourself with the little, seemingly infinite moments that make up your day - for it is these that, day after day, make up one’s life.
As I reflect upon my first two years of marriage, it's the little moments, the moments between moments, that come to mind. The sun-bathed evenings of walking and talking; toiling quietly in the kitchen together preparing dinner; stolen glances of love and romance that are exchanged across the room, ever in the presence of our Lord, the Shepherd of our marriage. As I reflect upon our first two years of marriage, Elaina, my heart delights to praise you, for that is the natural end to the joy in my heart, to the love that you and I share in.
Two years ago, I made a vow to love and lead you, for better or for worse, until our journey’s end. Standing upon the threshold of marriage all those days ago, I could not anticipate the weight of that joyous responsibility, nor could I possibly anticipate the countless beauties and glories that we’ve encountered along the way. Two years ago, I said “I do” - I still do, Elaina, and I always will.
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Elaina, as your husband I am called to imitate our spiritual Husband, Jesus Christ;
I vow to dig deep into His Word daily that I may be fashioned more in His likeness;
To pursue holiness, joy, wisdom, faithfulness, and love above all earthly treasures, as an example to you.
I vow to seek my soul’s satisfaction in Christ first and foremost, to walk well-worn paths of fellowship with Him that you and I can then tread upon daily as husband and wife;
By God’s grace and leading, I vow to imitate Christ in our household; as a leader, lover, and lifelong friend.
No matter how many seasons of marriage we are given together, whether many or few, I vow to always delight in you as the wife of my youth, just as Christ delights in His bride, the church;
I will never cease to praise God for your beauty, nor cease to remind you that your worth outnumbers all the stars, and that you outshine each and every one in beauty.
Whether in seasons of sorrow or in times of joy, I will strive to remind you of God’s eternal truth; assuring you that whether it be dark valleys or mountain highs, come what may, the LORD is God and God He’ll stay;
I will laugh and dance with you in the light, and weep with you and comfort you in the night, until the sun rises.
I vow to wash you daily with the water of God’s Word, that you might be presented to Him in splendor and without blemish;
I vow to seek your holiness as that of my own flesh, to nourish and cherish you, to encourage you, to pray for you, to provide for and protect you, and sacrifice daily for you;
So that when we reach our journey’s end you may hear those words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
However, I am not Christ, and along this journey I will stumble and I will fall;
But I vow that I will hurry to humility, that I will be fast to forgive, and swift to ask for forgiveness, just as God has forgiven you and I in Christ;
And when you stumble, I vow to speak the truth to you in love, always striving to reflect the gentle and lowly heart of our Lord towards you.
I am unworthy of you, Elaina, and I am unable to keep these vows apart from Christ;
And so I promise that I will trust Him to lead and strengthen me that I may in turn lead you;
I will make much of you in order to make much of Him, that in all things He may be glorified;
I love you, Elaina, and I vow to love Christ with you for the rest of our days.
Photo by ashleyphotography.ca
